🔗 Share this article

Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the safe haven of your Daily, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and milestones, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to discover that an online journalist a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who understood the bathroom a little too literally, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell following dozing off in the toilet midway through a 2015 losing match versus the Cod Army. “He was barefoot and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget when, at the height of his fame with Manchester City, Mario Balotelli visited a nearby college to use the facilities during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then came in and was asking directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

Tuesday marks 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager following a short conversation within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a blank expression, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “soulless”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably over the past twenty-five years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, while a German now sits in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Live Updates

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, clad merely in our briefs. We were Europe’s best referees, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with strong principles … however all remained silent. We scarcely made eye contact, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with a chilly look. Silent and observant” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|